ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
