Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
