Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
