Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
