I think I died a long time ago.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
