What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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