Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
