This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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