it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
