butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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