i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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