If i could tip my vagina, i would.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
