Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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