Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
