I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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