Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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