and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
