Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
