new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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