bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize