Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
