I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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