so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
