We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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