He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
