he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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