even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
