I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
