just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
