just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize