If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I need to align my fucking chakras
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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