you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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