she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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