Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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