You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
