apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
