so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I need to calm my uterus...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
