you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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