Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
