As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
