All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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