im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
