That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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