Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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