Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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