1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
This is the high leading the old right now
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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