Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
