That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize