Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
