then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
