People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
