I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
