I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
