I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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