Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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