I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
no, he came in my armpit
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
