I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
