Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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