She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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