the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
